thus making me awesome and them whores
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
