i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
