walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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