Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
