I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
