hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
