This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
