I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
