I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
