do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
