Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
