mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We named our party play list daddy issues
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
