This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
