I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
