I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
