So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
