well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
