she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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