You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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