Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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