shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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