It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
