How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
