she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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