Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
