He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
