glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The power of my boobs compel you
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
