he puts the penis in happiness.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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