What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
