so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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