we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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