morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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