why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
