Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You ruined the universe
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
