I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
