is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
