She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
