I need help removing her.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I need water and some morals
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
