You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
