Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
