Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
