Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
