i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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