He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
