I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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