did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize