are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
