stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
