remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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