It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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