i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize