how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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