I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
