Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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