Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
