It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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