And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Randomize
