Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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