I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I showed him my bush... on skype.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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