So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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