Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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