rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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